We have all been there when an unkind thing was said about something we have absolutely no control over.

We have all had someone who doesn’t like the way we look, move or speak; worse still, they make it a point to communicate it to us directly. People who do not know us well enough within meeting us for minutes will point out:


“You have put on weight.”

“You’re hairy.”

 “Your pictures online make you look skinner than you are in person.” 

“Aren’t you working out?” 

“Wow, you have acne.”

“You’re so tall, how do you find dates?”


I come from a culture where lighter skin tones are preferred, skinny bodies are revered and being quiet, subservient is the “right place” for a girl. In short there is both a beauty standard and a behavioral expectation if you are female.


While this type of thinking seems prevalent globally however, in largely patriarchal societies this outdated, regressive thought process is alive, and thriving.


Folks who do not have the consciousness to speak goodness to another are suffering, within.


And their internal dialogue is the same, too. As it’s said, hurt people – hurt people. Well, I neither fit into any of these superficial constructs nor do I find it proper etiquette to comment on someone’s physical appearances.


Maybe because life has rendered me some callous blows of a similar nature that hurt me deeply and took me years to recover.


Beauty is subjective, imo and I hope someday our society comes to a similar conclusion instead of promoting unhealthy standards and cosmetics but until then we take care of ourselves including our mental health.


4 things to do:


Shame is a low energy and vibration emotion 

First you have to identify your emotion, if you feel shame or anger please explore it and go back as far as you can to unearth why you felt triggered. If there is truth in what was said, how can you wield those words and your feelings into something empowering.

Remember shame is a base emotion that make us feel smaller than the spiritual beings that we really are.  

Love yourself harder and focus on self-care 

Take all the energy that you want to direct toward the person or go into the pas or judge yourself and re-direct it to your inner world. Our body listens to everything and our subconscious processes the feedback.

Remember to do the things that bring you joy, take walks, meditate, quieten your mind, and start small.

Practice mindfulness

Return to the present moment and become mindful of how you are speaking to yourself. Your body is an awareness-machine and responds to your ‘state’, even if it’s unsaid. If you beat yourself up, you prolong healing.

Remember to give yourself attention, compassion and love.


Hydrate and move forward

Drink water, shrug it off and go on living your life. Make healthier choices in what you put into your body but be vigilant of your disempowering thoughts because they are food for your soul

Remember only you must live with yourself, why not fall in love with yourself instead, hydrate and carry on living instead?


People’s insensitivities and perceptions can bruise our gentle hearts and self-image, but it is crucial not to take any of those words and make them your identity.


Your body is always listening. Stand up for yourself. Find the courage to speak up.

If you choose silence, then may you remove yourself from that situation and person entirely.

And please remember to give your voice to others if you see someone mis-treating them. While we are on our individual journey, we are all in this together.


Rise above the fold,